Consent is mandatory throughout every encounter in life.

Especially at Hedonism. We are excited that so many people want to explore and this article is for seasoned pros, first-timers, boys, girls and everyone in between.

Read through so we can all be on the same page and feel free to share this with anyone. 

What is consent 

An agreement between participants.

It's easy to assume (in all facets of life) that people are happy to go with the flow. 

You might think because someone is having a drink, you can give them another one for instance. 

We should be seeking clear, verbal and enthusiastic consent for all interactions for all parties involved. 

If you are wanting to engage in any physical way with someone or a group of people. 

You must ask clearly, as well as state your intention.

Then wait for a clear enthusiastic response. 

If you feel the need to negotiate, pressure or ask multiple times, you are missing the point of enthusiastic consent. 

Attendance at Hedonism

Is not consent. Many people come to our events just to party. 

You should spend the time getting to know someone before posing the questions to play. 

If someone is playing you still need consent. 

You are not welcome to touch someone.

If someone is unable to speak for any reason. Then you can not obtain consent, which means you have not received consent. 

Ongoing consent 

This is equally important. We, humans, are more than entitled to change our minds. 

You are free to change your mind and you should respect someones decision to change their mind. 

It is always a good idea to constantly check-in as well as update others. 

How to seek consent 

We believe it's a good place to start by expressing your desires in an open-ended question. 

"How would you feel if I kissed you"

lands nicer and gives the other person a chance to give a more detailed response. Whereas "can I kiss you" can push people into a yes or no. 

Another good segway into consent is "what would you like to do with me"

This gives the other person to guide where things go and what they are comfortable with. 

If you are a couple looking for a 3rd, it's also important to make that clear. 

A gentleman might be keen to play with a girl, but they might not be comfortable with her male partner.

What is a NO

The simplest formula is - if it isn’t a clear yes, it’s a no. 

And always remember, consent is only given on the question asked. 

Everyone is welcome to say no. Being told no once, will not warrant intervention and possible punishment from the staff at Hedonism.

However, pestering a guest several times, pushing for a yes or assuming you got a yes certainly will result in expulsion and banning from Hedonism.

What we deem to be non sexual touching at our events 

A welcom hug

A handshake 

A high 5

A shoulder touch to move past someone in a crowd 

Putting your arms around each other for a photo

These are all allowed. 

What happens if I accidentally touch someone. 

Non-consensual sex/ sexual touching is assault. 

This is a crime that will be taken very seriously. Intentionally behaving in a way that violates consent, or stretches the agreed boundaries of what was consented will be taken very seriously. 

If you are found to have assaulted someone you will be removed from the venue and banned from future events. 

We will not hesitate to report your actions to assist the police. 

Let us know about your concerns or incidents. 

We do not want our staff to be standing over everyone, that will kill the vibe. We do expect everyone to follow our code of conduct at every event. 

Should anything inappropriate ever happen, you should seek out our staff or security, they will gladly help you.

Alternatively, we understand nerves can be high and if you wish to have the concern or incident heard after the event has ended, please get in touch with us via our social media or email. 

To summarise 

Communication is your friend. 

Footnote: In over 65 events with nearly 7000 guests attending we have only had to politely ask 2 persons to leave the party. Hedonism is the embodiment of a safe space, but it requires we all maintain strict adherance to the rules to keep it that way.